Whether you are male of female you were once this age without a care in the world? Remember those days?
Life came along,things happen to us,life events happen. Loss strikes.
We all learn how to cope in our own way. We can have a stiff upper lip. Present a false front to the world and sometimes to ourselves. We deny and bury our emotions. These ways however are not healthy.
Talking your situation through would be healthy to help you get back in touch with who you are and who you want to be. To make peace with your past,learn to accept and move on.